So that I'm not leaving you with nothing, here is a great picture of our family. My younger sister, my mom, me, Cory, Beezer, Scoot and my dad. My twin sister was out of town and unable to make it to the family party.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Birthday
I have been trying to find the time to write about Cory's 3rd birthday last week. Unfortunately, school, work and life in general have been getting in the way so it needs to wait a little bit longer.
So that I'm not leaving you with nothing, here is a great picture of our family. My younger sister, my mom, me, Cory, Beezer, Scoot and my dad. My twin sister was out of town and unable to make it to the family party.
So that I'm not leaving you with nothing, here is a great picture of our family. My younger sister, my mom, me, Cory, Beezer, Scoot and my dad. My twin sister was out of town and unable to make it to the family party.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Open Adoption Roundtable #7
The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table.
You can view the original post HERE on Production Not Reproduction.
Where do you draw the lines--on your blog and in your personal life--and why? What, if anything, don't you tell?
There is little about my open adoption experience I am unwilling to share. The whole purpose of my blog is to give the world a glance into the life of a birth mother. I am here to educate, give perspective and sometimes even entertain. :). That does not mean that everything makes it into my blog. There are some thoughts and experiences that are just for me and no one else. For example, there are certain letters or emails from Scoot and Beezer that are just for me. There are interactions I have with Cory, sweet moments, that are just for me.
In general, I love sharing bits of my life with others. Part of how I cope is letting my moments of grief and times of joy be useful or encouraging to others. If I change the life of only one person by writing about my experiences then this is worth it (I know that is cliche!).
The only thing I have changed in way of privacy since I started this blog is the usage of names. I will use initials or nicknames for people to protect their privacy. Occasionally I will do a Google search for the people I have talked about in my blog to be sure they are not traced to my blog. The only name I accurately use is Cory's. Many people would have a problem with this but I have my personal reasons for doing so that I do not feel I need to justify. If asked by Scoot and Beezer to cease and desist I would, but so far it has not come to that.
You can view the original post HERE on Production Not Reproduction.
Where do you draw the lines--on your blog and in your personal life--and why? What, if anything, don't you tell?
There is little about my open adoption experience I am unwilling to share. The whole purpose of my blog is to give the world a glance into the life of a birth mother. I am here to educate, give perspective and sometimes even entertain. :). That does not mean that everything makes it into my blog. There are some thoughts and experiences that are just for me and no one else. For example, there are certain letters or emails from Scoot and Beezer that are just for me. There are interactions I have with Cory, sweet moments, that are just for me.
In general, I love sharing bits of my life with others. Part of how I cope is letting my moments of grief and times of joy be useful or encouraging to others. If I change the life of only one person by writing about my experiences then this is worth it (I know that is cliche!).
The only thing I have changed in way of privacy since I started this blog is the usage of names. I will use initials or nicknames for people to protect their privacy. Occasionally I will do a Google search for the people I have talked about in my blog to be sure they are not traced to my blog. The only name I accurately use is Cory's. Many people would have a problem with this but I have my personal reasons for doing so that I do not feel I need to justify. If asked by Scoot and Beezer to cease and desist I would, but so far it has not come to that.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Different Way of Thinking
It stuck me the way other day just how much adoption has affected me in almost every way. My mom and I went over to Cory's house Thursday night to babysit so Beezer could go to worship practice at church. He has been getting over a cold and has been very attached to momma lately and would not stop crying or let momma go. She tried to pass him to me so that she could make a run for it but I ended up having to take him from her, go upstairs and sit in his room with him until she made it out the door. I think it was a bit traumatic for him :(. Cory cried the entire time momma was gone. Most of the time he stood by the glass patio door looking and pointing outside crying "momma, mmm-momma, momma." It was heartbreaking to hear him cry like that. Eventually, Beezer did come home and consoled him. Once it was clear that momma was not leaving but my mom and I were he was much happier.
Yesterday I spent the entire day with my friend A and her two boys. Those boys love me and have no probably with me carrying them around, feeding them lunch, changing their diapers or doing anything else momma would do for them. However, there were times during the day that they HAD to have momma and cried for her. It was no problem to hand them over with an understanding smile.
From the outside my reactions to the boys crying for momma was the same as when Cory was crying for momma. My thought processes were totally different. With A's boys I give no extra thought to their cries for momma or take it personal. When Cory is crying for momma I automatically start to tell myself, "It's ok. He knows Beezer as momma. This isn't personal. This doesn't mean he doesn't love me. I can handle this fine." Whether I need the affirmations or not it has become an automatic response. The defenses kick in to protect my heart, mind and general emotional stability.
The realization hit me that I have no idea how deeply adoption has affected my life. It continues to be more and more clear to me that adoption has and will affect EVERYTHING. Not just the day to day. Not just the relationship I have with current friends and family. Not just my future family. It effects my thoughts, my emotions, my decisions, my path, my future, the very core of who I am.
For the longest time I was resistant to believing adoption had any effect upon me at all. I would talk about adoption casually as if it held no meaning for me (adoption, not Cory. Two different things.) I would insist that adoption was fine and all was well with me in regards to the subject. It does not affect me in the way it affects everyone else. Nope. Not me. I'm different.
Bull crap.
To steal from Shrek, "recovering" from adoption is like an onion. There are many layers you have to go through as you deal with various aspects of the life changing experience.
Yesterday I spent the entire day with my friend A and her two boys. Those boys love me and have no probably with me carrying them around, feeding them lunch, changing their diapers or doing anything else momma would do for them. However, there were times during the day that they HAD to have momma and cried for her. It was no problem to hand them over with an understanding smile.
From the outside my reactions to the boys crying for momma was the same as when Cory was crying for momma. My thought processes were totally different. With A's boys I give no extra thought to their cries for momma or take it personal. When Cory is crying for momma I automatically start to tell myself, "It's ok. He knows Beezer as momma. This isn't personal. This doesn't mean he doesn't love me. I can handle this fine." Whether I need the affirmations or not it has become an automatic response. The defenses kick in to protect my heart, mind and general emotional stability.
The realization hit me that I have no idea how deeply adoption has affected my life. It continues to be more and more clear to me that adoption has and will affect EVERYTHING. Not just the day to day. Not just the relationship I have with current friends and family. Not just my future family. It effects my thoughts, my emotions, my decisions, my path, my future, the very core of who I am.
For the longest time I was resistant to believing adoption had any effect upon me at all. I would talk about adoption casually as if it held no meaning for me (adoption, not Cory. Two different things.) I would insist that adoption was fine and all was well with me in regards to the subject. It does not affect me in the way it affects everyone else. Nope. Not me. I'm different.
Bull crap.
To steal from Shrek, "recovering" from adoption is like an onion. There are many layers you have to go through as you deal with various aspects of the life changing experience.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
One Lovely Blog Award
It isn't very often I receive an award of any kind so when Sally at The Adoptive Parent left me a comment telling me she nominated me I was a pleasantly surprised :)
The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are: Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 10* other blogs that you have newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.
Todd at (A)Dad - It is nice to get an adoptive father's perspective.
Rebekah at Heart Cries - Recent adoptive mommy and very eloquent. She is connected forever with . . .
Rebekah at My Journey Through Motherhood, Life, and Now as a Birthmom - Recent birth mother to one and mommy to more. She is birth mother to the previous Rebekah's adopted child.
Jenni at In His Easy Yoke - She never fails to inspire me and give me much needed perspective.
Britney at Beauty for Ashes - You go girl :) Just love reading what she has to say.
Bears Mommy at On Incarus' Wings - Another woman who inspires me and gives me perspective.
PeWee at Meek, The Jerks and Me - I've been reading her for a while but she never gets old :)
Nicole at Life After First Mom - Recently found her. Still digging in and loving it so far.
Suz at Writing My Wrongs - Love how she writes so far.
There you have it! I hope you enjoy the links :)
*It is supposed to be 15 but I only had time to find 10.
P.S. If anyone would prefer I do not link you, please let me know and I will promptly remove it. Thanks!
The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are: Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 10* other blogs that you have newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.
Todd at (A)Dad - It is nice to get an adoptive father's perspective.
Rebekah at Heart Cries - Recent adoptive mommy and very eloquent. She is connected forever with . . .
Rebekah at My Journey Through Motherhood, Life, and Now as a Birthmom - Recent birth mother to one and mommy to more. She is birth mother to the previous Rebekah's adopted child.
Jenni at In His Easy Yoke - She never fails to inspire me and give me much needed perspective.
Britney at Beauty for Ashes - You go girl :) Just love reading what she has to say.
Bears Mommy at On Incarus' Wings - Another woman who inspires me and gives me perspective.
PeWee at Meek, The Jerks and Me - I've been reading her for a while but she never gets old :)
Nicole at Life After First Mom - Recently found her. Still digging in and loving it so far.
Suz at Writing My Wrongs - Love how she writes so far.
There you have it! I hope you enjoy the links :)
*It is supposed to be 15 but I only had time to find 10.
P.S. If anyone would prefer I do not link you, please let me know and I will promptly remove it. Thanks!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Open Adoption Roundtable #6
The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table.
Write about names/naming and open adoption.
I didn't have any particular names picked out for my son so at the first meeting with his would-be adoptive parents I let them know that they could choose his name. They were thrilled :) They had narrowed it down to two or three names and by the second meeting they said they wanted to name him Cory. I wasn't a huge fan of the name right off the bat but I figured it was their choice and they had to live with it. The name they chose with their last name, not mine, is what I wrote on the original birth certificate.
Later I found out they chose his first and middle name because of what it meant, not how it sounded or what relative held the name. It is exactly what I would have done and the name ended up fitting Cory very well.
Naming the child can put a lot of strain of the open adoption relationship or even be a deal breaker if you let it. For some people the name is everything and for others it doesn't really matter, like with me. Either way it is important to communicate so there are no misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the line. Most of the time I think it is best for the birth and adoptive parents to name the child together. Whether that means one set of parents picks the first name and the other picks the middle name, or if they combine two names to make one, they need to come to some sort of agreement and be upfront and clear about their wishes.
When it comes to finalization, if the adoptive parents decide to change the child's name it is their right. However, it would be beneficial if they would at least give the birth parents a heads up out of respect for the relationship. It would be best if renaming could be avoided all together, but obviously it happens and is sometimes necessary.
There are many different ways to go about naming a child of open adoption and for me it wasn't such a big deal to let the adoptive parents take the lead. I didn't want to become attached even more to my child by giving him a name and I justified that stance by saying it wasn't my child anyway. Now I look back and wish that I had taken a little more interest in the subject so one day I can tell Cory that I participated in giving him his name. I would encourage any expectant parent considering relinquishment to think of what they would name the child regardless of the outcome.
Write about names/naming and open adoption.
I didn't have any particular names picked out for my son so at the first meeting with his would-be adoptive parents I let them know that they could choose his name. They were thrilled :) They had narrowed it down to two or three names and by the second meeting they said they wanted to name him Cory. I wasn't a huge fan of the name right off the bat but I figured it was their choice and they had to live with it. The name they chose with their last name, not mine, is what I wrote on the original birth certificate.
Later I found out they chose his first and middle name because of what it meant, not how it sounded or what relative held the name. It is exactly what I would have done and the name ended up fitting Cory very well.
Naming the child can put a lot of strain of the open adoption relationship or even be a deal breaker if you let it. For some people the name is everything and for others it doesn't really matter, like with me. Either way it is important to communicate so there are no misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the line. Most of the time I think it is best for the birth and adoptive parents to name the child together. Whether that means one set of parents picks the first name and the other picks the middle name, or if they combine two names to make one, they need to come to some sort of agreement and be upfront and clear about their wishes.
When it comes to finalization, if the adoptive parents decide to change the child's name it is their right. However, it would be beneficial if they would at least give the birth parents a heads up out of respect for the relationship. It would be best if renaming could be avoided all together, but obviously it happens and is sometimes necessary.
There are many different ways to go about naming a child of open adoption and for me it wasn't such a big deal to let the adoptive parents take the lead. I didn't want to become attached even more to my child by giving him a name and I justified that stance by saying it wasn't my child anyway. Now I look back and wish that I had taken a little more interest in the subject so one day I can tell Cory that I participated in giving him his name. I would encourage any expectant parent considering relinquishment to think of what they would name the child regardless of the outcome.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Open Adoption Roundtable #5
The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even have a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table.
How has open adoption changed you? In what ways are you different because the presence of open adoption in your life?
There are many ways in which open adoption has changed me, but I want to focus on just one aspect of my life.
My friend A and I were friends long before I got pregnant with Cory; however, our friendship only grew as deep as it is because of Cory and open adoption. A and I were pregnant together. Both of us were having our first baby, both boys, and due within a month of each other. She was the first person to act genuinely excited when I told her I was pregnant. We were hanging out in the pool together and when I told her she hugged me with excitement and put our pregnant bellies next to each other to introduce our boys. She declared that day that they would be friends forever. So far she is right :).
A is friends with both me and Cory's adoptive parents. Some of you know that A is the one who first mentioned Scoot and Beezer to me as prospective adoptive parents and acted as an intermediary for us until I chose them. Beezer, A and I all became mothers at the same time. She has witnessed the whole relationship from both sides and it has allowed our friendship to grow deeper because she can understand what open adoption is about like no other friend I have.
More than just a friend, A has been a lifesaver. When I have been missing Cory and need to hold a little one, A has been more than willing to let me hold or play with her son who is only five weeks older than Cory. She lets me be surrogate mommy for a moment and change his diaper, feed him his bottle and take care of him. A has seen how the open adoption relationship blesses and curses both sides and that gives her the ability to support me more than if she was only seeing one side.
Without my open adoption relationship, A and I would not have the deep friendship that I cherish.
How has open adoption changed you? In what ways are you different because the presence of open adoption in your life?
There are many ways in which open adoption has changed me, but I want to focus on just one aspect of my life.
My friend A and I were friends long before I got pregnant with Cory; however, our friendship only grew as deep as it is because of Cory and open adoption. A and I were pregnant together. Both of us were having our first baby, both boys, and due within a month of each other. She was the first person to act genuinely excited when I told her I was pregnant. We were hanging out in the pool together and when I told her she hugged me with excitement and put our pregnant bellies next to each other to introduce our boys. She declared that day that they would be friends forever. So far she is right :).
A is friends with both me and Cory's adoptive parents. Some of you know that A is the one who first mentioned Scoot and Beezer to me as prospective adoptive parents and acted as an intermediary for us until I chose them. Beezer, A and I all became mothers at the same time. She has witnessed the whole relationship from both sides and it has allowed our friendship to grow deeper because she can understand what open adoption is about like no other friend I have.
More than just a friend, A has been a lifesaver. When I have been missing Cory and need to hold a little one, A has been more than willing to let me hold or play with her son who is only five weeks older than Cory. She lets me be surrogate mommy for a moment and change his diaper, feed him his bottle and take care of him. A has seen how the open adoption relationship blesses and curses both sides and that gives her the ability to support me more than if she was only seeing one side.
Without my open adoption relationship, A and I would not have the deep friendship that I cherish.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Current Thoughts
Lately I've been struggling with how much is too much. I look at how much time I spend thinking about adoption and I wonder if maybe I am spending more time than is healthy on the subject. Lately I have been searching for books at the library on adoption, relinquishment, openness, biographies, anything I can get my hands on. Some books I finish, others get put on the back burner, and sometimes I just need to step away because things are not good.
One of the recent reads was Without A Map: A Memoir by Meredith Hall. I loved it. It took a little bit to get used to the style of writing since I have never read a memoir before. Overall, I could identify with most of the feelings and emotions she experienced regardless of the differences in our situations. My mother read it and thought it was depressing at times, but I think that is because she couldn't relate in quite the same way I could.
Currently I'm reading The Open Adoption Experience. It has taken me all summer to read to only chapter seven. It covers a lot of ground from the perspectives of all sides of the triad and at times it is overwhelming. For example, when they discussed the hospital experience it was impossible to not reflect on my own experiences in the hospital. Going back to that time is exhausting. There are things I regret from that time and things I loved and overall it was "good" but it is still not easy.
I found another book that was published this year called Issues in Adoption. It is part of the Current Controversies series that covers a wide range of topics that are current to today. So far in the book they discuss a lot of issues with international adoption from various points of view. I just got into the section discussing open adoption and the good, bad and ugly of such relationships. I'll try to let you know what I think once I have finished it. So far it has been interesting, well-written and there hasn't been anything that I outright disagree with.
Anyway, all of this "research" and hunger for more information about what is out there has me wondering what is healthy. Should adoption really be a topic at the forefront of my mind all the time? Probably not. So then I am left with the question how much is too much? Where is that healthy balance? I am tired of going back and forth between avoiding adoption and diving into the deep end. It is tiring. (I think someone commented once that this kind of thinking/behavior is a sign of trauma.)
So . . . where is that place where I am not consumed by adoption and yet I am not stuffing it away in a deep, dark place so I can pretend it hasn't burned a hole in my heart? I know it exists. And do not call that a place of "peace", seriously, because as far as I can tell there is no such place. Well, I am wrong in that respect. There is peace when you give it all to God and let Him take over those areas of your life. Then my question becomes how do you get there and stay there? Who has survived this less scarred than I and can give me some advice? I know there are other women who have dealt with this kind of stuff.
Yes, little bits of denial are chipped away every day. I recognize that denial has been my "friend" for over three years now and I have tried to deal with what I can a little bit at a time. Some days are better than others :)
Side note: I have noticed that I have fewer readers than I used to. I'm sure part of that is because I don't write as often and part of it because of the tone of the blog recently. No one likes to read about the hard times as it can be depressing and sad, I understand that. However, this is the reality of what it is like to live with relinquishment. Maybe not for everyone, but definitely for a lot of women. I had considered switching over to Wordpress so I could make the hard posts private, but then I realized that I would be doing readers a huge disservice by hiding. All mothers, adoptive, birth and expecting, deserve to see what life is like after relinquishment. The good times, the bad times and the numb times.
And just so you know, there are plenty of good times :) Sometimes to bad is just easier to talk about.
One of the recent reads was Without A Map: A Memoir by Meredith Hall. I loved it. It took a little bit to get used to the style of writing since I have never read a memoir before. Overall, I could identify with most of the feelings and emotions she experienced regardless of the differences in our situations. My mother read it and thought it was depressing at times, but I think that is because she couldn't relate in quite the same way I could.
Currently I'm reading The Open Adoption Experience. It has taken me all summer to read to only chapter seven. It covers a lot of ground from the perspectives of all sides of the triad and at times it is overwhelming. For example, when they discussed the hospital experience it was impossible to not reflect on my own experiences in the hospital. Going back to that time is exhausting. There are things I regret from that time and things I loved and overall it was "good" but it is still not easy.
I found another book that was published this year called Issues in Adoption. It is part of the Current Controversies series that covers a wide range of topics that are current to today. So far in the book they discuss a lot of issues with international adoption from various points of view. I just got into the section discussing open adoption and the good, bad and ugly of such relationships. I'll try to let you know what I think once I have finished it. So far it has been interesting, well-written and there hasn't been anything that I outright disagree with.
Anyway, all of this "research" and hunger for more information about what is out there has me wondering what is healthy. Should adoption really be a topic at the forefront of my mind all the time? Probably not. So then I am left with the question how much is too much? Where is that healthy balance? I am tired of going back and forth between avoiding adoption and diving into the deep end. It is tiring. (I think someone commented once that this kind of thinking/behavior is a sign of trauma.)
So . . . where is that place where I am not consumed by adoption and yet I am not stuffing it away in a deep, dark place so I can pretend it hasn't burned a hole in my heart? I know it exists. And do not call that a place of "peace", seriously, because as far as I can tell there is no such place. Well, I am wrong in that respect. There is peace when you give it all to God and let Him take over those areas of your life. Then my question becomes how do you get there and stay there? Who has survived this less scarred than I and can give me some advice? I know there are other women who have dealt with this kind of stuff.
Yes, little bits of denial are chipped away every day. I recognize that denial has been my "friend" for over three years now and I have tried to deal with what I can a little bit at a time. Some days are better than others :)
Side note: I have noticed that I have fewer readers than I used to. I'm sure part of that is because I don't write as often and part of it because of the tone of the blog recently. No one likes to read about the hard times as it can be depressing and sad, I understand that. However, this is the reality of what it is like to live with relinquishment. Maybe not for everyone, but definitely for a lot of women. I had considered switching over to Wordpress so I could make the hard posts private, but then I realized that I would be doing readers a huge disservice by hiding. All mothers, adoptive, birth and expecting, deserve to see what life is like after relinquishment. The good times, the bad times and the numb times.
And just so you know, there are plenty of good times :) Sometimes to bad is just easier to talk about.
Visit with Cory and Family
A couple weeks ago Scoot and Beezer joined our family at Wednesday evening service. It was nice being able to worship with them like close friends usually do. During worship Beezer leaned over to Scoot and said, "It's like coming home." They were so happy to be back at their home church.
Scoot and Beezer used to attend the same church as my family and I. In fact, I would see Beezer often back in 2003 when I worked for the worship pastor and she was on the worship team. Around the time that I became pregnant and long before they knew about it God moved them to another church for reasons unknown at the time. They have enjoyed their new church these past few years. There are several couples with adopted children, lots of mom groups and play dates and generally lots of adoption support; however, they have never felt at home there. I honestly hope they come back to our church at some point.
After service they picked Cory up from the nursery and visited with friends they have not seen in a while. Cory was running around and around the atrium while his dad chased him. From there we headed to Applebee's restaurant to dig into some desserts and catch up on each other's lives. I got to sit by Cory and color and play and talk and laugh. It was great planning mom/aunt for a while. The five of us talked for a couple hours about birthday plans, family, Cory and life in general. For a while I chased Cory around the restaurant since he wouldn't sit still. When I got tired Beezer and my dad chased him around for a while.
All good things must come to an end since the little guy only has so much tolerance for being up past his bedtime so we finally called it a night and said our goodbyes. Cory wanted to go for a ride in our car and when that didn't happen he wanted me to go for a ride in their car (I rode with them over to the restaurant). Beezer told me later that Cory was saying, "ride, ride, ride" all the way home since I wasn't in the car :). At least that is how Beezer spun it ;).
It was fun to hang out with them in a casual, neutral setting. Conversation was easy and comfortable between them and my parents and there was no competition for Cory's attention. I'm not sure if they view my parents in a grandparent role to Cory but I know that they are more than happy that so many people love him. The titles are not important anyway. We are in his life and everyone, except my twin sister, is comfortable and happy with the arrangement we currently have. I hope it isn't too long before I see them again.
Scoot and Beezer used to attend the same church as my family and I. In fact, I would see Beezer often back in 2003 when I worked for the worship pastor and she was on the worship team. Around the time that I became pregnant and long before they knew about it God moved them to another church for reasons unknown at the time. They have enjoyed their new church these past few years. There are several couples with adopted children, lots of mom groups and play dates and generally lots of adoption support; however, they have never felt at home there. I honestly hope they come back to our church at some point.
After service they picked Cory up from the nursery and visited with friends they have not seen in a while. Cory was running around and around the atrium while his dad chased him. From there we headed to Applebee's restaurant to dig into some desserts and catch up on each other's lives. I got to sit by Cory and color and play and talk and laugh. It was great planning mom/aunt for a while. The five of us talked for a couple hours about birthday plans, family, Cory and life in general. For a while I chased Cory around the restaurant since he wouldn't sit still. When I got tired Beezer and my dad chased him around for a while.
All good things must come to an end since the little guy only has so much tolerance for being up past his bedtime so we finally called it a night and said our goodbyes. Cory wanted to go for a ride in our car and when that didn't happen he wanted me to go for a ride in their car (I rode with them over to the restaurant). Beezer told me later that Cory was saying, "ride, ride, ride" all the way home since I wasn't in the car :). At least that is how Beezer spun it ;).
It was fun to hang out with them in a casual, neutral setting. Conversation was easy and comfortable between them and my parents and there was no competition for Cory's attention. I'm not sure if they view my parents in a grandparent role to Cory but I know that they are more than happy that so many people love him. The titles are not important anyway. We are in his life and everyone, except my twin sister, is comfortable and happy with the arrangement we currently have. I hope it isn't too long before I see them again.
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